Archives For Leading Thoughts

tensionOpinions about rules tend to polarize in two camps: the rule-keepers and the rule-breakers.

Ideologically, rule-keepers tend to see rules as moral imperatives and rule-breakers see them as the control mechanisms of those in power.

While ideologies drive much of how people assess life, they do not strictly determine how people functionally live life.

Functionally, most people live as both rule-breakers and rule-keepers. For example, a great rule-keeping employee may break every rule of personal health from improper diet to inadequate sleep. As Alan Bennet said, “We started off trying to set up a small anarchist community, but people wouldn’t obey the rules.”

The fact is rules are often written around important ideals, but have to be followed with consideration for what’s real. That reality creates a tension in us, no matter which rules-camp you most identify with.

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Miley CyrusTwerking, jerking, wrecking…whatever Miley Cyrus was doing in her VMA performance was definitely not working. Miley seems to publicly be going through a quarter-life crisis.

Our culture says a lot about people in their 40’s experiencing a mid-life crisis, but the 1/4-life crisis is becoming a common phenomenon in the life of today’s young adults.

The crisis often occurs once young adults have made all the decisions that older adults have told them to make – learn to drive, finish high school, go to college, get a job – then one day they wake up and wonder, “What now?”

The realization sets in that they have “ridden the wave”, and played their childhood part in the script called growing up.  Now the only remaining life-decision before retirement is marriage. For many young adults this is when the 1/4-life crisis hits.

Here are three “others-focused” behaviors that help avert the 1/4-life crisis.

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momentum roadOrganizations love momentum.

Momentum comes from wins, sales, growth, revival…call it what you want, but when you have it everyone can feel it.  Momentum is tangible progress. However, there is one danger in momentum.

Momentum can carry you right past the turn you need to make.

I was driving in a busy metro area last week trying to keep up with the pace of traffic when suddenly I saw the turn I needed to make.  I immediately knew that my current speed and the flow of traffic was not going to allow me to make the turn, so I ran right past the needed course correction.

Churches are bad about living off of momentum. Churches often call this “revival,” and no one wants to kill the momentum of “revival.”

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man with briefcaseIf you can’t get away from your organization then you are either…

…A lousy leader or
…You can’t hire well or
…You have an inflated need to be needed

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mowerHard work is necessary to achieve success for any organization, but focusing on work alone is a mistake.

Work is ethic-driven behavior.  An ethic is a value or philosophy that informs behavior.

A work ethic compels a person to labor, but labor does not ensure progress.  Just like a loyalty ethic may compel a person to stay married but staying married does not ensure a healthy marriage.

For a nonprofit organization the cause is so great, and the needs are so many that it seems sensible to champion the merits of work alone.  But in order for work to achieve sustainable progress it has to be systematized.

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child playingSummer time is VBS time.

Vacation Bible School is the closest thing to heaven for parents.  They get to drop off their children for free baby-sitting with God.

There is a lot of talk these days in churches about adults discipling children. What is rarely discussed is the role children play in the discipling of adults.

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safe dialBusyness is like the effort to crack a safe.  You keep turning the tumbler thinking eventually something will “click” and unlock success.

Organizations can develop the work ethic of a burglar when it comes to busyness. Often thinking if they stay busy something will “click” and growth will happen.

But busyness never works because:

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two cups coffeeToday’s audience is increasingly post-modern.

Post-modernity is an amorphous term, it means different things to different people. Go figure.

But one thing is for sure, a post-modern audience is not only interested in a speaker’s content they are also mindful of the speaker – just ask Paula Dean.

As a communicator to post-modern audiences, there is a question you have to answer if you want to be heard.

Are you a likable person?  Not funny, witty or smart…likable.

Likability is the difference between being tuned-out or turned-up.

I heard Jeff Henderson say one time, “Your listeners should think, ‘I would enjoy having a cup of coffee with this speaker’.”

More and more the question of likability is influencing an audience’s willingness to listen.

This is often a big struggle for communicators who are over 50.

Previous generations are prone to think likability equals selling-out or watering-down or telling people only what they want to hear.  But likability really has nothing to do with potency.

Ask yourself this question, “Who are you more likely to take criticism from: a close friend or a sworn enemy?”

People are more open to criticism from those they like rather than those they dislike, even if the criticism is harsh.

That same reality exists for today’s communicator.  Gone are the days of the “sage on the stage”, today people listen to the “guide on the side.”

If they can’t see themselves wanting to sit across from you in a coffee shop they won’t sit for long in your audience.

Join the Conversation:  What are some ways a speaker can help the audience see her as a likable person?

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selfish mediaI was recently with a friend/colleague who made the comment, “Most social media is really selfish media.”  He’s right. There is a lot of “me, me, me” in the digital social world.

Here are a few ways to keep your content more social and less selfish.

1. Don’t go on and on about your accomplishments.

It’s called social media for a reason.  It’s supposed to be social, and there is nothing social about a self-focused monologue.

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boy scoutThe earlier Boy Scout ruling this year and last week’s Supreme Court ruling on DOMA have dealt a blow in the public square to supporters of heterosexual marriage.

Many social media sights are filled with Christians crying the “judgment of God” and “it shall be as in the days of Noah” when God returns.

As well intentioned as these “warnings of doom” may be, they must not be the primary cry of the church.

Here are a few reasons why…

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